my fears on taking on 2 under 2 | + jacksonville beach maternity photos

With each new change comes an adjustment period, always. No matter who you are.  It's a learning curve where you first must understand the changes, then happily welcome change, and then the hard part -- incorporating those changes into your everyday life until they just become natural.



Well, this is my current stance on looking forward to taking on the wonderful challenge of being a momma to 2 under 2 (at least for a month and a half, E will still be under 2!) I am simply elated to meet our sweet new girl, and at the same time a tad fearful of the new responsibility that will take quite a bit of adjusting.





After having E, it was the most incredible feeling in the world being a new mother. There just aren't words to describe the feeling of meeting your very own bundle of love. Staring at her, cuddling with her, taking note of every detail of her pretty little features -- everything about that aspect was pure, pure joy.



But, it was also tough. It was an adjustment. Getting used to taking care of that beautiful little bundle 24/7 and being the only people fully learning to understand this sweet girl was not a walk in the park. Nursing was a tough journey for us (that we luckily got through and continued on for 14 months), but in the beginning, it was hard. Losing sleep, feeding baby girl, learning the cries, and one of the hardest parts - still taking care of myself. I had a somewhat tough recovery, mixed with finding time to shower, taking medications at the proper times, making sure I was eating meals, and cleaning up pump supplies, bottles, and the usual household upkeep -- it's all apart of the wonders and joys of new motherhood. It is so true that the cuddles and sweet moments and being the one to soothe your baby fully trumps the rougher aspect of parenthood, but they still cannot be overlooked because those struggles are real.

You see new moms post pictures online of their little beauties and all the good times they're having, but you're missing those behind-the-scene midnight, 3am, 5am, 7am wake up calls, diaper blow outs, mommas crying from nursing pains, labor and body recovery, and worries of whether or not they are making the right decisions, etc. It's alll a part of parenthood and I believe it's the case for everyone!



My fears are not that I will not be able to do it. They are just that combination of getting ready for a big life change and how smooth or rough the transition to 2 little beauties will be.





With one, I was able to lay peacefully while attempting to nurse, and stay quiet while she napped and I could go and take care of myself and (attempt) the house in the little downtime there was. This time around, I try to envision those nursing sessions with a toddler grabbing my hand saying "All done, mama?! Get up! Come on!" as she does anytime she comes in to wake me up or get me up from doing work at my desk. And getting upset when I have to tell her "No" more often than I do now. And I question my ability to keep up with our home while said toddler spews her toys throughout the house and I have less time to make sure she's cleaning up after herself and me running behind cleaning up what she's missed, and prepping her meals and mine and pumping to have an adequate supply for baby, and then cleaning up after all that prep. And the times where I'll have a crying newborn in my arms with a tired, crying toddler at my hip. Yup, those are my fears. And I'm just reminding myself they are all normal new mom fears that will soon become a thing of the past to look back on.





I'll get through those times. Somehow! They may be pretty rough or they may even go smoother than I envision them to. But no matter what, I'll feel so blessed just to have my sweet babies, and all the "Peeease & Thank you's" and "I love you, Momma's" will continue to make every single ounce of motherhood worth it all.



I'll look back on this post, look back on my fears, and look back on the times where I have a newborn and a toddler and remember it all as a distant memory once it all becomes natural, as all big life changes eventually become. I'll miss those crazy times and want them back, no matter how stressful they become. Because even with the stress that comes with change, beauty comes with change too. Changes that make life seem grand. Just as we wake up now to begin our daily routine and it all just feels right, that will come soon enough with a new little girl to make up another truly amazing part of our lives. No matter the situation, it will just become a part of my life that makes up me and my memories and I'm looking forward to all of it!



But mostly looking forward to J, E, and I meeting that sweet girl that will turn our lives upside down in the most AMAZING way possible. We can't wait to stare at her features and watch her sweet faces and embrace new parenthood all over again! I'm not sure there is anything more wonderful to look forward to! 2 under 2 -- we got this, right...?

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...and this seems like an appropriate time/place to insert one of my favorite songs (which I've quoted on here before!) We'll make this place a home for baby girl as we continue to make it a home for ourselves, and as long as we're rolling down this unfamiliar road together, then yes, I do believe we got this!

Hold on to me as we go
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave is stringing us along

Just know you're not alone
'Cause I'm gonna make this place your home

Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble—it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you're not alone
'Cause I'm gonna make this place your home

Thank you to my hubby for taking these photos and for being so patient with E and I, even if we get a little bossy at times ;) 

We <3 you!

the unblogged photoshoots (until now!)

It happened too little this past year. You know, during our year of merriment, fun, and chaos - the exhilarating opportunity to snap memorable photos that will make their way deep into the pages of family photo albums to look back on, or in today's case, make it's way deep into the files of a flash drive or CD which, too, will soon be outdated.

Print your pictures, people. Print them now before you lose 'em to today's technology foreverrr! And remind me to do the same some time soon, please :)

But, back to the original statement here. In between the traveling, the family barbeques, the E + kiddy cousin time, and the hours spent working on the computer, I wish I had the enriching feeling of sitting at my computer with a candle lit and music playing to edit photos to my heart's content. It makes me happy. I always know post-shoot which photo I am most excited to go home and edit. It starts with a quick "ooh let me get these uploaded ASAP!", before doing ANYTHING else, like changing a diaper or kissing someone hello! It's usually followed with a 'oh wait, let me clear all this crap off my desk before I go insane' because when I edit, I like the comfort of a clean space and candle flickering peacefully. And then, after fulfilling any motherly duties calling my name, I sit back and watch my little creations come together. And it makes me so happy!

I do wish this happened much more frequently, but I can't complain about all the fun being had instead. I didn't get the chance to blog much, so behold my favorite unblogged photoshoots, in no particular order :)

 Well, that about does it for now. Ready to keep my creative juices flowin'!

And while you're at it, be sure to like my Facebook page :)

Happy FIRST Birthday, my sweet little love!

We were laying, cuddling, laughing and playing on a cloud of white down blankets yesterday morning -- just baby girl and I. We were in a hotel room, waiting on Daddy who was out on a residency interview. Now and Then was on - and lawdy do I love that movie - as I contemplated ordering room service breakfast (but did not! I remembered we are not rich). I was happy as can be while playing airplane with my sweet daughter, fully aware in that moment that it was the last day she was still under one year old. That was my ah-ha moment.



My still seemingly brand new (to me) baby girl is turning one tomorrow, I thought. And I watched her pretty little face as she laughed and giggled while flashing sweet toothy smiles. I was loving every moment of playing with her (as always), and while watching that adorable little face, I flashed back to the day she was born at the hospital... To the moments when I had no idea what one year from then would look like. And this was it right in front of me, begging for more and more action from me, while I scooped her up into my arms to hug her wiggly, laughing self to tell her "Happy early Birthday, sweet girl!"



Mommy and Daddy built her a teepee for her birthday. A teepee to read in, to cuddle in, and to squeeze under as a little family to make memories in.

She's found her happy spot in that teepee and it makes us happy. Last night, after a looong time in the car, this momma was more tired than I even knew. I fell asleep in the teepee while J and I were reading to her, under a glistening light hung neatly above us in it. In my jeans and all. And I stayed fast asleep - while Daddy put E to sleep in her crib, took a shower, put a blanket on me, and left us peacefully in her room with the crashing waves white noise in the background. I had no idea of any of this until I peeked an eye open in the middle of the night, when it was just about to start turning light out. I realized where I was and smiled (or smiled in my head - as I was too tired to do anything!) I took note of the handmade quilt my husband must have placed on me and rolled back over to sleep right next to my birthday girl's crib. As much as I would have loved to be in my own bed after a hotel stay and long car ride, I was happy to be sleeping in that happy spot so close to Baby E. Shortly after I heard her waking up, I saw her stand up so I popped over to whisper hi to my birthday girl.

I picked up her grinning self and held her close while I quietly sang 'Happy Birthday' to her before bringing her in the teepee to nurse her and go back to sleep together. In an instant before falling asleep, I flashed back to the day I met her in my arms one year ago today.



That teepee already did it's job. It's already given me an amazing memory with her, completely unplanned yet completely loved.



Once we woke up, I brought her into our room so we could see Daddy. We laid in bed while I pulled up her birth story to see pictures and remember this day one year ago.

Mommy and Daddy took baby girl out today. We were very lucky to be able to spend it all together. Brought her to the Wow Factory and we played our hearts out and I freakin sprained an ankle in the toddler area playing a bit too hard. They had a sign posted up in there.."The greatest gift you can ever give your child is your time." Heck yes to that.

We brought her to Chik-Fil-A to eat A (singular) chicken nugget (but she DID eat a chicken nugget - woohoo!) and we let her indulge in an ice cream cone before playing a little more.



Her cousins and Grandma came over to sing her very first 'Happy Birthday' cake song to her. She wasn't so sure about it, but there weren't tears and she ate a few bites of an ice cream cake, so success in my book.



Our teepee loving birthday girl is very excited to see her family and friends this weekend to celebrate some more.

I still can't believe it's been a year since I met her in my arms. I still can't believe she has been the biggest part of our lives and giving us the best cuddles, laughs, and love for a whole year already. I still can't get over that she is a mixture of J - the man I love so much - and I....and that we have a little piece of us to love for the rest of our lives.



We are continuously thankful for God bringing this beautiful child to us and we wish our sweet girl a very Happy First Birthday from the bottom of our very full hearts!

We love you baby, let your life always take you 'Up'!

That time it became semi-impossible to take photos of Baby E...

There was a day -- not too long ago -- where I could plop my little one anywhere I wanted and get a great shot with ease. All by myself, at that!

Gone are those day?! Who knows.

Shots like this:



or this..



Well those were easy peasy. Ya know, just randomly amidst changing her or in between switching activities, we'd lay down quick to snap some monthly photos, and a few minutes later I was pretty happy with what I was able to capture in that short amount of time.









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Now, I looove me some candid photos! Don't get me wrong. Really, that's all I ever take these days, aside from the occasional "oooh, let's take some real photos of her" here and there.

And it seems candids are pretty much all we'll be seeing for the next 4 years or so until I can potentially get her to pause for a millisecond to take a slightly-posed photo-- if that happens then haha. But I'm okay with that!

As I've said, I do loove me some candids, especially mid-play when having fun or exploring.



But...as much I'm okay with mostly candids, we've gone the first 10 months of her life taking these monthly photos.



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So, it only seems appropriate to finish out the year.

Meaning: only 2 more sweat fests-- full of millions of shutter clicks, rolling baby girl back into position a gazillion and 4 times, having her laugh her butt off at us for moving so dang quick and looking back to see how close we are, and tons and tons of roars, laughs, and giggly screams that make us lose our voice to get her eyes to look at us at the same time as a smile out of her. Wish us luck. Ha.

After all, this is all for HER to have for when she's older, right?! Ha....yea. okay.


'Look, guys, I can hula dance' (last pic on the right)


'Hahaha, you want me to sit still? Suckers!'

'Tell me to smile one more time...see if it works!'

'I'm ready, ready, ready to take off. Try and get a pic, ma!'

'I'll just schmooze Daddy a bit..try and distract him, you know..'

'Maybe I'll empty this entire basket and pretend like I like to play with this stuff that I never touch'

'What, you guys are giving up on takin' my picture? Oh, by the way, I love you Daddy!'

'Booooring!'

'Muahaha -- while these fools are laying on the rug resting up after sweating their butts off, I'll have me some fun. What's up here?!'

'Ooh, Momma gave up on takin' my pics and decided to play with my blocks. Let me go mess them up!'

'....and then proceed to climb my chair!'

Yes, yes, these were fun photos to take, as you can see! Haha. And just take a look at what her sticker looked like by the time it came off. Most of her other stickers are pristine!


And perhaps the saddest end to the photoshoot....that beloved blue frame she decided to push over? Well, it broke :(


Despite the (fun) craziness these monthly photos may have entailed, I will at least attempt 11 and 12 month photos. Daddy is actually going to be gone during the 11 month photos, so don't be surprised if it's just a photo of her in a downward dog yoga position. We can't just skip the next 2 months, can we? I mean, can't you hear it now 'Mom, you took 10 months worth of these pics and really couldn't do 11 and 12..really?..Awesome."

If she were the 4th child like myself and barely had any photos of her, then yes, perhaps that's what I'd hear. But let's be honest, this gal -- the first child -- will have the complete opposite outlook. "Mom, did you REALLY have to take THAT many photos of me...?"

Yes, baby girl, yes I did!

Say cheese!