With each new change comes an adjustment period, always. No matter who you are. It's a learning curve where you first must understand the changes, then happily welcome change, and then the hard part -- incorporating those changes into your everyday life until they just become natural.
Well, this is my current stance on looking forward to taking on the wonderful challenge of being a momma to 2 under 2 (at least for a month and a half, E will still be under 2!) I am simply elated to meet our sweet new girl, and at the same time a tad fearful of the new responsibility that will take quite a bit of adjusting.
After having E, it was the most incredible feeling in the world being a new mother. There just aren't words to describe the feeling of meeting your very own bundle of love. Staring at her, cuddling with her, taking note of every detail of her pretty little features -- everything about that aspect was pure, pure joy.
But, it was also tough. It was an adjustment. Getting used to taking care of that beautiful little bundle 24/7 and being the only people fully learning to understand this sweet girl was not a walk in the park. Nursing was a tough journey for us (that we luckily got through and continued on for 14 months), but in the beginning, it was hard. Losing sleep, feeding baby girl, learning the cries, and one of the hardest parts - still taking care of myself. I had a somewhat tough recovery, mixed with finding time to shower, taking medications at the proper times, making sure I was eating meals, and cleaning up pump supplies, bottles, and the usual household upkeep -- it's all apart of the wonders and joys of new motherhood. It is so true that the cuddles and sweet moments and being the one to soothe your baby fully trumps the rougher aspect of parenthood, but they still cannot be overlooked because those struggles are real.
You see new moms post pictures online of their little beauties and all the good times they're having, but you're missing those behind-the-scene midnight, 3am, 5am, 7am wake up calls, diaper blow outs, mommas crying from nursing pains, labor and body recovery, and worries of whether or not they are making the right decisions, etc. It's alll a part of parenthood and I believe it's the case for everyone!
My fears are not that I will not be able to do it. They are just that combination of getting ready for a big life change and how smooth or rough the transition to 2 little beauties will be.
With one, I was able to lay peacefully while attempting to nurse, and stay quiet while she napped and I could go and take care of myself and (attempt) the house in the little downtime there was. This time around, I try to envision those nursing sessions with a toddler grabbing my hand saying "All done, mama?! Get up! Come on!" as she does anytime she comes in to wake me up or get me up from doing work at my desk. And getting upset when I have to tell her "No" more often than I do now. And I question my ability to keep up with our home while said toddler spews her toys throughout the house and I have less time to make sure she's cleaning up after herself and me running behind cleaning up what she's missed, and prepping her meals and mine and pumping to have an adequate supply for baby, and then cleaning up after all that prep. And the times where I'll have a crying newborn in my arms with a tired, crying toddler at my hip. Yup, those are my fears. And I'm just reminding myself they are all normal new mom fears that will soon become a thing of the past to look back on.
I'll get through those times. Somehow! They may be pretty rough or they may even go smoother than I envision them to. But no matter what, I'll feel so blessed just to have my sweet babies, and all the "Peeease & Thank you's" and "I love you, Momma's" will continue to make every single ounce of motherhood worth it all.
I'll look back on this post, look back on my fears, and look back on the times where I have a newborn and a toddler and remember it all as a distant memory once it all becomes natural, as all big life changes eventually become. I'll miss those crazy times and want them back, no matter how stressful they become. Because even with the stress that comes with change, beauty comes with change too. Changes that make life seem grand. Just as we wake up now to begin our daily routine and it all just feels right, that will come soon enough with a new little girl to make up another truly amazing part of our lives. No matter the situation, it will just become a part of my life that makes up me and my memories and I'm looking forward to all of it!
But mostly looking forward to J, E, and I meeting that sweet girl that will turn our lives upside down in the most AMAZING way possible. We can't wait to stare at her features and watch her sweet faces and embrace new parenthood all over again! I'm not sure there is anything more wonderful to look forward to! 2 under 2 -- we got this, right...?
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...and this seems like an appropriate time/place to insert one of my favorite songs (which I've quoted on here before!) We'll make this place a home for baby girl as we continue to make it a home for ourselves, and as long as we're rolling down this unfamiliar road together, then yes, I do believe we got this!
Hold on to me as we go
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave is stringing us along
Just know you're not alone
'Cause I'm gonna make this place your home
Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble—it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found
Just know you're not alone
'Cause I'm gonna make this place your home
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave is stringing us along
Just know you're not alone
'Cause I'm gonna make this place your home
Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble—it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found
Just know you're not alone
'Cause I'm gonna make this place your home
Thank you to my hubby for taking these photos and for being so patient with E and I, even if we get a little bossy at times ;)
We <3 you!